Help! My husband bothered off my summer

Dear WeAreTeachers:
I have just finished my first year of teaching and am officially on summer vacation. I noticed that any time my husband is reminded that I won’t be working for the next three months, it really goes under his skin. He didn’t actually say anything rude or pick any fight with me about it but just commented here and there. “It’s getting late আছে well, I don’t think it’s for you anymore.” I think it’s more of a jealous thing, because he doesn’t like his job and his salary is lower than mine. I think it’s hard to accept that I’m getting this “prok” with a higher salary. So how do I remedy this situation? – Don’t be jealous

Dear DBJ,

People often make jealous comments about teachers’ summer vacations. What most people don’t realize is the emotional resilience needed to be a strong, effective, healthy teacher that keeps it going for a long time. The break is not only beautiful, it is necessary! Fortunately, the cyclical nature of teaching gives us the opportunity to share previous year’s experiences and reset them for upcoming classes জন্য to fill our cups, if you will.

Seems like you are sensitive and aware of your partner’s reactions and feelings and some open communication will help you both go deeper. Make room for verbal expressions of concerns. Negative feelings increase when they are not prone. Lexi Walters Wright, who contributes to the Understood organization, suggests some simple and in-depth ideas. Let go of being right. Be tactful about your speaking time. We can all relate to frustration when someone drops a comment bomb as we walk out the door. Listen more and listen better. Also, try to reflect on what your mate is saying to promote a strong understanding. You may say, “Let me take a second to see if I understand what you are saying. I heard. “

Hopefully, you two can find a balance that works for you with homework, self-care and shared experiences. How beautiful when friends and partners lean towards shared joy. In Joy books, The Dalai Lama reminds us, “We cause most of our suffering, so it should be logical that we have the ability to create more joy. It just depends on the attitudes, attitudes and situations and the reactions it brings to our relationships with other people. When it comes to personal happiness, we as individuals can do a lot. “

Dear WeAreTeachers:
My new principal sent me an email today stating that we need to adhere to our school’s dress code at our required summer outdoor state conference. This includes not having “unnaturally colored hair”. The mine is currently purple. It turned purple on the last day of school. I am on a charter and I have no contract. I don’t really care what the administrator thinks about it. My plan is to smile and chuck it up being summer. Any suggestions on what to say when it is raised? Because it will and I would rather be prepared. – Until loose

Dear LU,

It must be frustrating to be in a situation where there is a hyper-focus on physical appearance rather than the element of being an effective and enjoyable teacher. Judging by what you see is awesome. I have to admit that hair color seems to be controlled to comply with the dress code, especially in the summer.

Many educational places relaxed dress codes, especially after working from home during epidemics when many of us wore more comfortable clothing. Elizabeth Hubek writes Education Week That “teacher’s dress codes are nothing new in themselves, although the parameters around them look very different from a few decades ago.” ‘At least two petticoats’ and forced to wear more than 2 inches above the ankle .. Times have changed and with them, the teachers ’dress code.

Although we have experienced changes in dress code, it is legal for employers to require a dress code. Workplace Fairness insists that employers can “control clothing, piercings, tattoos, makeup, nails, hair and more. For the most part, these dress codes are valid as long as they are not discriminatory.” Having said that, you seem to have two main options. Say no to wearing your hair the way you want and see if the lead dress code adheres to the policy. And cross your fingers with this method. Or you can request an appointment with your principal and express your concerns about the dress code and hair color.

You may say, “Do you have a few minutes to talk about dress code? I understand that as an employee we want to promote professionalism. In addition to appearance, professionalism is very deep. I think I have shown that my planning, teaching, collaboration and communication Professional and student-centered. It seems more important than my hair color. I want to keep my hair color this summer and attend the conference the way I am. “

Dear WeAreTeachers:
I give upper primary education and I have a bubble, energetic, junior colleague who teaches in the same grade. She uses lots of incentives and rewards, takes selfies and gives a lot of freedom in the classroom. The students love him. I love my students and really enjoy teaching, but I believe in growing more inherent motivation and I am less overwhelmed. I connect with my students, but it seems like it’s not at the same level. Some of my students wish they were in her class. I’m struggling with being seen as annoying. How do I navigate it best? – You and I are free to be


Thank you for bringing up this uncomfortable situation. Tensions at the grade level put pressure on already-challenging work. So often teachers feel that they are in a popularity competition where they have not entered. It’s easy to say that each teacher brings different strengths and gifts to their work and we are all unique and our diversity enriches the school community. The point is, sometimes our negative chatter and insecurity get in the way of what we want to know and practice.

Your teammates don’t seem to be deliberately trying to make you feel bad. I guess you, like many of us academics, are finding yourself in an internal battle about feeling good enough. Marcia Reynolds, C.D., In Psychology today Advises that “your emotions are usually aroused when you feel the need to protect something important to you or you feel that something important has been taken away, such as respect, achievement, significance or necessary feeling, valuable or heard.”

Reynolds suggested that we “close the spiral of negative self-judgment.” Have you given any thought to why it is being triggered? What is under this feeling? Try to build self-awareness and catch yourself when you feel that comparisons are clouding your life. Then try to refram and think about what is going well in your classroom. Break for gratitude is not fluff. It is the foundation for building confidence and well-being. Remember that education does not have to fit into the entertainment category.

Your efforts to promote underlying motivation promote joy, deep learning, and self-efficacy. While it may be tempting to slip into the easy path of external reward-driven inspiration, stay on your way. You have seen your students improve in this situation. If you want more “fun”, go ahead and try adding some new projects, interactions or content. But there is no need to try to be someone else. You have enough and your years of experience and reflection are definitely important.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at [email protected].

Dear WeAreTeachers:
Well, it happened. After a luncheon conversation with my new teaching partner, I texted my friend in my most crude, ruthless way. I accidentally sent it to a teaching partner instead of my friend. As soon as I realized this, I called him and told him that he was going to read some very strong, uncovered feelings, and I apologized, but the damage was done. He says he needs time to process and properly and understandably hurt and upset. This is not my best moment as a human being. Thanks for listening and sharing ideas on how to move forward.

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