Dear WeAreTeachers:
I feel very excluded today. Our school is celebrating a spirit week. Today’s theme was “Student Day as Staff / Staff Dress as Student Clothing.” There were two popular teachers and many students dressed like them. The principal even announced it and invited the students to take pictures in the classroom of their chosen teacher. I knew no one was dressed like me, and that put me in an awkward position. One of my colleagues was kind enough that we could “share” some students, but I refused. Then there was a social media post about today’s “fun” activity, even mentioning the names of all the staff in the students’ uniforms. Everyone except me has been mentioned. I’m in so much pain. I hope we never do this Spirit Day again. Should I say something? – Looking outside
Dear OTOLI,
Being excluded can be so discouraging and isolated, and I’m sorry you felt it. This experience serves as an important reminder about the unintended consequences of certain activities. Students and teachers feel at risk and deprived of the popularity competition.
Part of your frustration comes from the danger of comparison. All people notice what is the same and different from them. Our tendency to compare is normal. The Recovering Balance Counseling Group describes how “comparisons can be a trigger for negative thinking and encourage an endless flow of negative self-confidence.” Comparing yourself can feel like a roller-coaster ride. By the opinions, words, and actions of others, your “self-worth is flowing around. Even when you feel better than others, by comparison, the energy you gain is a temporary ego-stimulus.”
Feeling we have ‘Run out of gas’ emotionally. We have all seen how social media can portray a situation in a more favorable way than in reality. This is a good example of that distortion. Anything that was “fun” was cruel to others. The Z Foundation emphasizes that “when we come to social media in the hope of meeting basic human needs for connections that are not met offline or feel good about ourselves, we run the risk of moving away from more loneliness or self-loathing on social media.” We’re more critical than we started. “
Yes, talk to your administrator. If you do not, how will they be able to support and reconcile the coming days of the soul? Your voice and perspective are important, and I’m sure you weren’t the only one who felt uncomfortable when Spirit Day turned into a popularity contest. There are some minor changes that can turn a soul day from disaster to inclusive and fun. Instead of inviting children to dress like teachers or staff, they may be encouraged to dress like a favorite character from a book. I hope you know that you are not alone and talking will help you more.
Dear WeAreTeachers:
It’s the end of the school year and I’m overwhelmed by the deadlines. Every morning I wake up for several emails including requests for accommodation and humility. My to-do list is just getting longer. I study in high school, and I’m buried in grading and trying to give meaningful feedback. There is something to give. I have been teaching for over 20 years, and personally and professionally I have never encountered so many hiccups and setbacks. I know I have to ask for help, but I don’t want people to think I’m not good at it. Do you have any advice? – Drowning in deadlines
Dear DID,
Puzzle with many details of the end of the year. Many of our educators see a light at the end of the tunnel during the last few weeks of school, but it can be dimmed by that long “to-do” list. And you’re right – you have to pay. Follow your own advice on that. Take some time for the journal, sit down and think, or walk around and reflect on what you can leave behind. Are you trying to make everyone happy? Find a way to make a little space for yourself. That wide feeling may be small, but it must be sweet.
Every time I open my emails I can definitely relate to your feeling of being bombarded by hijacking and new issues. Once I open the message, I try to deal with it as soon as I can. If I need more time, I write quickly that I have received their email and will contact them as soon as possible. People are complex and life is multidimensional. Often when students communicate, it means they trust you and rely on your support. I give myself extra time for assignments to my college students, and it makes a lot of sense to them. I would usually send a short email saying, “I understand life is happening and you are in it right now. How about a few more days for assignment? I’m here to talk if it helps.”
Can we talk about grading? It’s such a humiliation. Sometimes it can feel demanding, tedious and unnecessary. And there are just so many things to grade. It is clear that you want responsive and personal and meaningful feedback on numbers. You know that it is more relevant and significant for your students. It may take a long time for you to respond in a way that you do not have now with the push of the year. So, consider choosing an aspect of your student’s work and highlighting it. Go for a dimension depth above the width.
I want to address the insecurity that you feel when you ask for help. The truth is that asking for help does not mean that you are weak or incompetent. That means you value collaboration. Poet Maggie Smith says, “There is no merit badge for pretending that everything is fine. Today’s goal: Be brave enough to ask for help when you need it. There is no qualification badge for doing all the hard things alone. Reach. Keep going. “
Survive as much as you can in the present. Find inspiration by filling your cup with an experience that meets your core desired feelings. Take a walk, watch the sunset, play in the wordplay, sing as time for fun. That to-do list will always be there, but now you can deal with it with a more positive mind.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at [email protected].
Dear WeAreTeachers:
I teach art in high school and each year we as a departmental team collaborate to select a senior who is most qualified not only by grade, but also by talent, attitude, perseverance and growth. One of my students joined the Advanced Placement Art class with very little experience. He had worked hard to catch and pass students who had previously been admitted to many art classes. I asked her to attend the awards ceremony In the blink of an eye, But when I met him there, he said he had not seen his name on the program. I quickly learned that our new mentor has changed A lot Recipients of prizes at the last minute without talking to teachers. And this counselor uses a computer report and focuses on the GPA I talked to my student and he took things forward, but I feel terrible. Tell me if you think it’s wrong!