Dear WeAreTeachers:
I have been teaching for 12 years now. For the past six years, I’ve shared work with another teacher. He works Mondays and Tuesdays and I work Wednesdays and Thursdays. We trade off on Friday. She is an excellent teacher, and it has been an excellent partnership. We know we can depend on each other. It was great when we were both kids and could cover each other for maternity leave. But now that my kids are a little older, I want to go back to full-time. I “own” the job, so that’s my call, but I don’t want to hurt my partner’s feelings. How can I break it to him without ruining our friendship? – It’s hard to say goodbye
Dear HTSG,
What a gift to have such a productive, positive partnership! It takes time, courage and weakness to build trust. Looks like you’ve both been there for each other. Reciprocity is a beautiful thing. I bet you both appreciate the flexibility and support that comes with a shared agreement. And it’s great to hear that your district has approved this option because sometimes they don’t. I am sure you are grateful to each other and your cooperation has had a positive impact on your classroom culture. Happy teachers change the world!
The first thing that comes to mind when navigating this transition is to communicate quickly, honestly, and frequently with your teammates. Let him know that this is a difficult decision and your family needs to change the way they work. You don’t have to defend your decision to take care of your family. On the contrary, you are not making hasty decisions but thinking about your future for yourself and your family. Like the most difficult situation, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. It doesn’t have to be an easy conversation. Just keep reminding yourself that you can’t control how your teammates react, but you To be able to How you control the response.
Often we hear the phrase “hold on to space,” so let’s dig a little deeper. Margeaux House writes, “The definition of Hold the space Being present with someone without trial. This means you donate your ears and heart without asking for anything in return. It involves the practice of empathy and empathy. “So, be present with your whole body. With a high quality attention to your body language let him know that you really care. Listen then listen more. This change is very uncertain and potential for your friend / colleague. It can bring surprises. You need to be ready to be grounded, calm and empathetic. She may cry or show anger or sadness. You may feel scared, but listen carefully to her concerns and show her that you care deeply.
I am sure you will remember to associate your conversation with gratitude and your sincere desire to be connected as a friend. Tell me if you think he knows how much you care about him. Expressing gratitude is more than saying thank you. Gratefulness.org says that “by definition, the habit of gratitude focuses on the present moment, on perceiving your life as it is today and what it has done.” Take a few minutes to write down your thoughts of gratitude before your conversation. Maybe even write a handwritten note to give him. The type of personal touch involved in a handwritten letter communicates your time investment, intent, and appreciation. So, set a time to talk privately and let it be revealed.
Dear WeAreTeachers:
I’m an earner and as much as I want to take breaks for the summer, I have to work. I chose another part-time job And I am teaching in summer school. I am in the middle of a breakup and have two children. I think I’m always laughing. I’m afraid of a busy summer, and I’m not sure how I can fill my cup and feel fresh for the new year. I want to feel inspired but I don’t know where to start. Do you have any ideas to help you get through this? – Crushed by the rush
Dear CBTH,
It is perfectly understandable that you are feeling crushed by all the weight you are carrying. Any single major challenge and heaviness of these life situations you share. But all together is difficult. Very difficult. Hopefully, you can find time to work with a therapist. It really helps to have someone more purposeful to support you and to notice and name your progress. It’s going to be hard to wake up the co- / single-parent world. Stay there and don’t forget to help your friends and family. You do the same for your caring person, don’t you?
At the moment, you are building your resilience. The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially by adapting mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adapting to external and internal needs.” There are a number of factors that affect how well we can cope with life’s instability. Some of the features at the forefront of resilience include how we view the world, our social resources and our coping strategies. Fortunately for us, greater resilience can be cultivated.
Finding time for self-care can be difficult, but you can fold the moments into your daily routine. Take food seriously and sleep. Preparing at least a decent meal for the day as well as some snacks is an investment in yourself and gives you the strength to show for your different roles in life. Is your sleep affected? Having a playlist of my favorite songs helps me spend the night more comfortably. Little things like taking a deep breath at the stoplight and looking for small moments of gratitude can help at the end of the day when your head hits the pillow. Maybe you’re not getting a massage or taking a vacation, but these micro self-care moments are small but powerful.
Do you have someone at school you can connect with? Once I told some people about my life with whom I work, I learned that as a working parent I am not alone in changing big relationships. When I honestly expressed myself, I felt instant relief. Privacy can really increase rumors, suspicions and isolation. So, let someone know what is happening in your life. Also, there can be all sorts of reactions about the separation of your children. Our discussion of our daughters aging and the current reality of our family has really helped. I try my best to be their parent and co-parent and they focus on our priorities. It was hard for me to let them have their own relationship with him and without me. What has been the hardest thing for you?
One of the ways to build my vision is through poetry. I go back to the poet Maggie Smith and one of her book gems, Keep going. Smith writes, “I know myself as an adult, and I Those are no longer half We, And I’m enjoying my old good company. A silver lining of being alone is to be with someone you can trust, whom you respect and understand. You can frustrate your guard when you are alone. You can allow yourself to live a pure life without forgiveness. You can love yourself in a way that no one else can. I have begun to fill a space that has been created around me. I can color my surroundings as I wish-Finally-Because now there’s finally room. “
Dear WeAreTeachers:
I am a 4th grade teacher and we are preparing our class for next year. It is always such an exciting process. My team usually works very well together, but this process works the worst out of a few teachers. My body really trembles when they talk so negatively about children. Labels are being tossed around like confetti, and it’s hard for me to talk and disrupt this toxicity. “This boy Very little and does not care“” The Talented children Need more. “” I have Less Class. “Please split Hyper boys“These kids don’t have parental support.” Comments like this go on.
Dear LGOLB,
Thank you for highlighting the power of language in creating learning situations for our students and for each other. It can be so hard to talk! I imagine that we can all relate to how fear constricts our communication. So many of us go through cycles of feelings of disillusionment during our learning experiences. And creating classes for next year can trigger these feelings.
Former principal and current author Peter Dwight describes that “teachers have many differently abled students in their classrooms and they have student labels in front of them. Thinking ‘out of the box’. Labeling may be necessary for some students and providing them with the necessary intervention from their professionals who help them best. However, these labels have other implications. “
Let’s go back to the educator and writer Peter Johnston, who has been a major influence in my professional and personal life. His book Favorite word It’s a treasure and helps me to form conversations through my intentional language choice. He emphasizes how exemplary and magical teachers deeply understand that language affects community, learning and freedom inside and outside the classroom. Johnston focuses on “what teachers say and do not say that has a combined effect on their students’ literate lives.” Language is key to sorting out a positive learning community. Your visceral responses are understood when you support yourself every day for every child. Do teachers want others to talk about their own children in this way?
The first thing to do when discussing students is to be a subtle model of intentional and power-based language. Repeatedly. When you have the courage, you can disrupt the dynamics of the game with your grade-level team and focus on equity. Consider saying something like, “Lately, I understand how connected my language and faith are. I’m working on how the language I use helps create the best learning environment for every child every day. I know we all work really hard. And have good intentions and I would like to suggest that we take more breaks and reflect on how our words affect our children. ” Kids need to believe in their potential, and teachers create those conditions for them.
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Dear WeAreTeachers:
Every day, I hear my second graders talk about what they see in the news. Often it’s about violence. Between the Buffalo supermarket shooting and the Texas school shooting, I’m at a loss. They seem so disillusioned and almost numb to another mass shooting. I don’t feel too confident in facilitating difficult conversations, so I usually jump straight in to teach my content. Lately, I feel like I can do a better job of building relationships with my kids, and perhaps engaging with current events is one way to do it. What advice do you have for talking about difficult things?Want more advice columns? Check out our Ask WeAreTeachers Hub.